Sunday, May 31, 2009 8:15 PM
Doing nothing today.
Didnt intend to go out.
Jie brought velda to ballet class.
Then just slacking around at home.
Jie was with velda at town after her ballet class.
Then mum msged me to ask if i wanna meet her at lot one.
Then i brought zac & aunty along to meet them.
We went to kiddy palace to gte the powder container & milk powder container for my lil jayven. (:
Then mum bought a shirt for zac. (:
After that we headed to mum's place for dinner.
Jie & velda joined us for dinner too. (:
After that we rest at mum's place until 7plus then go home. (:
What a boring life ! >.<
If i stay at home, there's nothing to do really.
NO LIFE !
& I seldom talk to my little jayven. :x
I dont know what to talk to him.
I always say the same thing, "pls be a good boy when you come out then everyone will love you. Mummy loves you too." :x
& mum told me to read more so that baby loves reading. But i didnt read. :x
Mum told me to drink milk so that baby loves to drink. But i didnt drink. :x
I hate the smell & taste of milk. I'll puke whenever i'm near it. >.<
I drink soyabean/soyamilk as a substitute. :x
Hmms, my tummy seems to be getting bigger bit by bit each day. (:
The one at 29 weeks & 6 days with this 32weeks &1 day got a slight difference lor.
Little jayven's kicking me as always. Super active ! xDD.
Aww. how cute ! I cant wait to see this little baby of mine. (:
Baby called me awhile this afternoon.
Cos i didnt msg him lols.
I intend to msg him after eating.
Hahas. He misses me eh? xD.
Then around dinenr time he msged me again.
Cos he was sleeping when i was out with mum.
& he says he misses me more than i miss him.
Aww... how sweet. (:
Baby i miss you too. Muacks. (:
{ilovenickchongyz}
zac scratching his arm.
zac looks so emo. =x
zac at my mum's place. (:
jie, velda & zac. (:
zac playing on his own. (:
aww. how cute! sisterly & brotherly love. (:
8:00 PM
Tummy at 32 weeks 1 day . (above)
There's a slight difference between this & the one i took at 29weeks 6 days.
But i did not really eat much of tonics & stuff. :x
Mum says i eat like a glutton. >.<
My little jayven's growing fast !. (:
Looking forward to little jayven's arrival. (:
Saturday, May 30, 2009 10:40 PM
This is a video of my niece, nephew & cousin's son taken by my jie. (:
10:30 PM
Didnt intend to go out today.
Woke up ard 12 noon.
Went to IMM with jie & kids, cousin danny & his family, & mum & dad. (:
They already had their dinner & are looking after their kids as they play the playground.
mum, dad & i came abit later to meet them. (:
Mum dabao her cooked food for me.
but i ate at 10pm. :x
At least i finished it all up ! (:
Looking at these cute little kids play can really make me feel happier. (:
After that we went to giant to get groceries & headed home. (:
Haish. I'm so upset today.
Everything was alright until it was almost time to go home.
At giant in IMM just now, dad quarrelled with my sis.
Mum was unhappy, stood up & join in the quarrel.
All bcos of me. :(
I feel so useless. I'm such a burden to them.
Dad still say all bcos of the messed i've made up.
All bcos of financial issues & me, they quarrelled.
I feel so guilty. I feel so depressed. I really feel like dying. :(
Like that i wont make them worried, frustrated & stressed about me.
Isnt it better? :(
Sometimes i just think that i shouldnt come to this world.
I come here to be hated by ppl, to give ppl trouble.
I feel so useless ! I feel that i'm not fit to be their daughter & a mother.
I dont know what to do. :(
I really feel so upset when my dad says the messed i've made up is the cause of it.
That moment i really cried.
I cant take it. Its so sensitive.
I really cant stop crying.
I feel so exhausted. :(
You think i want this to happen? Haish.
Maybe my choice of keeping this baby is wrong. :(
I dont think they'll love lil jayven.
No one wants lil jayven. :(
No one loves him except me. :(
I feel more low self esteem & lacking confidence even more.
I hate myself for being such a burden. :(
Baby coming back in 1 week's time.
I really need your shoulder & your hug.
I'm so exhausted from being a burden to everyone.
I miss you baby. :(
{ilovenickchong}
lil velda (:
zac & jie
zac boy (:
Friday, May 29, 2009 10:49 PM
Going to KKH next wednesday see doc.
No more scans until i'm gonna give birth soon. :(
Sian 1/2 lor !
I wanna see my lil jayven lehhs. :(
Anyway, I took photo of my tummy at 31 weeks 6 days.
Its 32 weeks if with round off. (:
Eh i think i eat too much. :x
Cos my weight increase alot.
Seriously i just cant stop eating.
I cant resist eating & eating & eating. >.<
I scared my baby too big lehhs.
Jialat lor. Must try not too eat those extras too much. :S
Arboh later all the fats go to me ! lols. :x
9:37 PM
Jie came back ard 2 plus this afternoon.
We brought zac to the clinic to have his jab.
After that send velda to her chinese class.
Jie, aunty (the maid), zac & me went to lot one walked awhile first then head back to chinese language sch to see velda's performance. (:
Its quite entertaining though, seeing those kids answer questions, performing, etc.
Performance ended. Class ended as well.
We meet mum & dad at cck control station to go to jurong point.
Reached jurong point, had some conflicts. :(
Come back cck, i'm still feeling pissed off.
But then ok lerhhs. (:
Today lot one got jolin tsai come lor.
Then everyone was like so crazy over her.
I saw alot of ppl holding her CDs with her signature.
I find it so stupid. lols.
Students study also not so hardworking as this lor !
lame shit sia ! :x
Lil jayven still kicking me as always.
& i just love him alot.
Sorry lil one that mumy's always angry or crying. :(
Pls dont be like me & have bad temper when you're born. >.<
Must be a good boy so that everyone will love you ok?
Sayang sayang, mummy loves you. (:
I find myself useless. Why cant i be more independent? :(
I dont know why. & i get sensitive easily & cry. :(
I feel that i'm such a failure. I lack confidence in myself.
I dont know what to do. :(
I always get angry & depressed or cry, be it with reason or no reason.
& I feel that i'm not fit to be a mother. :(
Missing baby like always.
Msged with him awhile.
But he's always watching tv at his camp in taiwan.
lols. he says like that can past time. :x
Sometimes baby's tone when talking on the phone like wanna quarrel with me lor.
Dont know what he's thinkin. :x
If can see his expression jiu hao le.
Easier to disturb him & make him laugh. xDD.
About 8 days to go, then baby's back to me again ! (:
{ilovenickchong}
Thursday, May 28, 2009 10:33 PM
I never went out today.
Think its time i stay at home & rest when i can.
LOLS. ok. you guys must be thinking, its like, FINALLY i'm staying at home?
Eh but i think i'll still go out when i can ! xDD.
But i'll try to stay at home more often.
Guess what i did today?
Bathed, eat lunch, then watch tv.
After that sleep t 4 pm then wake up at 6pm, eat dinner, watched tv, played with niece & nephew.
NO LIFE LEHHS !
Then i called mum & dad to come visit me & the kids as my jie will be home ard 9pm.
In the end they came together with my jie. (:
& YES OF COS, i told them to bring food. xDD.
I got motive de. ask them come visit me is to partly see them & also to eat ! xDD.
When i'm too bored i eat. But my mum say i better dont eat so much later like glutton. :S
Ya lor. I scared i will become fat lehhs ! >.<
Then mum & dad left at ard 10 pm. (:
Hmms. As for the giving birth process & baby,
I will try not to think so much & make myself paranoid. :S
BUT I'M SOOO AFRAID OF THE PAIN I'M GONNA GO THROUGH WHEN BABY'S COMING OUT ! :(
I realise lil jayven never fails to kick me around late night.
Even when i'm travelling, he kicks me too. (:
This lil active boy. But is it good to have an active baby? :x
Cos i always go out, i'm afraid my baby will be a naughty boy dont want to sleep de. :(
Some baby so guai, like nana's baby, always sleep. :S
If only my baby's like hers... >.<
LOLS. (:
Just now quarrelled with baby.
Feeling so sad. :(
Such a fierce quarrel.
I'm fine now.
But just now cry till now my eyes dry & painful. :(
Baby, I hate quarelling with you.
I'm sorry for whatever that makes you unhappy.
iloveyou. :(
{ilovenickchongyz}
12:30 AM
2 more days to 32 weeks. 58 days to go. (:
Lil jayven's coming out soon ! >.<
But i still feel jayven's not wanted by my family.
Cos no one's free to talk this lil one except me. :(
My jie needs to entertain her 2 kids, I seldom have time to talk to her.
I only meet mum at most twice a week.
So she wont talk to lil jayven too. :(
Come to think of it, i feel so sad for lil jayven.
My poor lil boy. :(
Yawns. So bored. 12 plus liaos.
What should i do when i wake up in the afternoon?
Slack at home or go out?
I always ask myself when baby's not around. :x
If i stay at home always only with the kids & maid.
Everyday's the same. :/
Jie's not coming home early. :(
Its damn bored lor. :(
How to entertain myself ah? >.<
Baby, 9 more days & you're back to me.
I'm really gonna hug you sooo tight !
& I'll never let you go.
iloveyou, imissyou, ineedyou. (:
{ilovenickchongyz}
Wednesday, May 27, 2009 11:45 PM
(old photo)
Today so bored at home.
Watched tv, slacked & eat, msged with baby awhile.
Then i gave pearl a call cos i remembered that she asked me out ytd.
So i asked if she wants to meet today.
She's ok, so we meet at jurong point.
We go FAIRPRICE XTRA to get some groceries as she need to cook dinner for her younger brother. (:
I accompanied her go popular to get her husband's naruto comic, watsons & then kfc to get her weep potato. lols.
After that we headed to her house.
She has 2 shih tzu lor. aww! so cute! A female & a male. (:
We went to the kitchen to prepare the ingredients.
Her brother wants fried rice so thats what we're gonna cook. (:
After its cooked & after we've ate dinner, I used her com for awhile.
About 9plus at night, i headed home.
Reached home at 10.30pm. SO LATE ! >.<
Sorry I wont be able to upload any new photos as my phone sot liaos. :x
So the photos are my previous photos. :x
Sians lor. Phone spoilt !
There are 2 phones i like, W595 & W705 .
Too bad i cant afford it. :(
So the feeling is like so damn shag.
I really cant wait to change this stupid phone of mine. >.<
If only phone can drop from the sky. . . LOLS. :x
My lil jayven has been kicking me frequently.
I'm really looking forward to his arrival.(:
But i'm really afraid of the pain. :(
I'm not sure if i can overcome it.
I know you people that has been tagging me are giving me support & making me feel better.
Thanks for your concern ! (:
But i'm still afraid. >.<
Time is really going fast. :S
3 more days & its 32 weeks !
baby jayven, pls be a good boy when you come out.
or else no one is willing to take care of you... >.<
I hope my baby is a good lil boy. (:
Baby only msged with me.
Didnt called me once for the whole day. :(
Miss his voice. >.<
He msged me say he got leave tml.
So i think he'll be going out with his sir & camp mates to the city area of taiwan barhhs. :x
So good horhhs, enjoying there sia.
Now he's drinking with his sir & having karoke there i think. >.<
Wahhs. machiam like no NS lehhs. lols !
So i think he wont call me?
I hope he calls me.
I miss baby. :(
{ilovenickchongyz}
12:52 AM
(old photo)
Haish. Jie asked me what am i gonna do with my baby.
I've no money, I've no job. & she, also my parents too are very stressed.
Trying to make ends meet to help support this newborn baby of mine. :(
I'm also stressed as well. Mentally stress.
Impossible go find a job now what. I'm giving birth soon.
Ya. they know also. But they keep stressing me about the issue.
I dont know what to do ! :(
What to do? I'm worried no one help takecare of baby.
I'm worried baby will suffer.
I'm worried that i cant handle & i'll be in a depression. :(
& i'm sooo afraid of the labour pain. :(
Sians!. My phone gg to be spoilt.
My memory card is damaged & spoilt !
No more music to listen liaos ! :(
I want a new handphone badly !
But i no money !
Mum's not buying me one anymore.
Cos i lost a phone before. :(
If possible, i really hope baby can get me a new handphone lor. >.<
But he needs to settle his own stuff, I also dont dare to get from him.
Haish. Bu hao yi si nehhs ! >.<
I desperately need a new phone !
Its another day.
Should i slack at home alone?
DAMN BORED LOR !
No one jio me out lehhs.
Sibei bored lehhs ! :(
I dont wanna stay at home.
But my phone no music listen i also sians donwan go out.
Haiyo ! But its easier to past time outside. :x
But i must stay at home to "yang tai" marhhs. >.<
I see lor. If got ppl jio me out then i go out.
If no one ask me out by 2pm, then i dont go out. :x
But i think baby wants me to be at home.
Cos he dont want me always go out. >.<
Hmms. I try to listen to you hao ma? :x
If baby's here in SG at least i wont be sooo bored.
Never mind. anyway he's coming back next month. (:
Baby called me to chit chat.
I miss you baby ! (:
Cant wait for him to be back.
He'll be back in 10 more days & i'm counting down. (:
Thank god he's coming back before our 2nd month.
Then we can celebrate together. (:
Baby, i know you wanna save money on overseas calls.
I'll try not to msg you too much. Sorry worhhs. :x
I'll always love you. (:
{ilovenickchong (:}
Tuesday, May 26, 2009 7:43 PM
Went to the clinic today.
I meet cycena laogong & joey.
They accompany me go. (:
after that we go bugis walk walk.
joey's hungry, so we accompany her go kfc. (:
then we walk somemore & then i bough ice cream to eat.
oops ! forgot i cant eat. must ask baby. :x
pls dont be mad at me for eating ice cream, baby ! >.<
then we chit chat until about 5pm then headed home. (:
I'M FEELING SOOO SHAG ! :(
my memory card is spoilt ! I cant save it !
All my pics are gone ! All my songs are gone !
Its like losing the whole phone ! ARGH ! I really gg crazy already !
I dont have back up for all my stuff, that make me even more mad !
I'm crying like mad liaos. >.<
WHAT TO DO?!!!!!!!! :'(
Die liaos la ! my phone spoilt liaos !
F A I N T ***** :(
{ilovenickchongyz}
Monday, May 25, 2009 11:33 PM
I was out at jurong point with shengyi.
cos she wants to buy some notebooks from artbox. (:
then we walked the pasar malam there.
guess who i saw?
Ice, a young mummy friend. (:
I didnt know it was her.
She spotted me first. lols ! (:
then chit chat until 9plus then i go home liaos.
Talked to baby on the phone & watch tv until 1plus am then sleep lerhhs. (:
imissyou & iloveyou baby. (:
12:40 AM
Just 5 more days to be 32 weeks pregnant.
Omg. How time flies.
I was only about 12 weeks pregnant at that time.
Damn fast. & I just cant make myself relax.
Cos the moment i thought of the giving birth part, I think i'm gonna freak out & faint. >.<
I get tense v easily, & once i get tense, i get nervous.
Once i get nervous, i will be sooo scared & then i will be shaking all over. :x
Ok. dont think too much. still got ard 8 weeks. >.<
Baby wants me to sleep early.
Cos i everytime so late then sleep.
Ya lor. Without him here, I feel so bored.
I feel lonely. & I miss him ALOT ALOT. :(
Talked on the phone with baby awhile.
He told me that he went to the city area in taiwan with his NS friends & his sir.
Looks like he's having a great time. (:
Hmms. Will he get something back for me? :x
Laughs. Baby sleep shortly after we chat.
& he told me to sleep before 1 am. :x
okok. i will. dont worry. muacks ! (:
Monday, the most boring day of the week.
& my left eye still have that lil lump or "pimple".
& it looks abit swollen & abit red lor. :(
I wanna go out. But I very vain. xDD.
WIth this kind of eye, go out very boring lehhs.
My fringe also cant cover. :(
If i stay at home no laptop use also.
Cos jie only brings it back during weekends. :x
Haish. See how barhhs. :(
I hate being alone. >.<
I dont know who to find to accompany me to the clinic this coming tuesday. :(
No one seems to be free. Alamak. :(
I also got appointment on 3rd june at KKH.
Baby also cant accompany me. hmms. :(
I think he comes back near to the 2nd week of june. :(
I am really looking forward to baby's return !
Sorry I wont be able to fetch you from airport.
Cos its too late & dangerous for me to go.
Hope you understand, my love ! (:
iloveyou always. Feelings will never change.
0904090340, our promise. (:
{ilovenickchongyz (:}
Sunday, May 24, 2009 12:24 PM
Everyone's not at home.
Eating bread for lunch again. T.T
HUNGRY !!! :(
guess where they went?
they went to eat vegetarian with my parents & relatives.
wahlao sian! i cant go! cos partly i woke up late. & mainly bcos i'm pregnant.
parents dont want me to be seen by the relatives. haish.
then how am i suppose to face them next time? :(
argh. my left eye got something like pimple or what. like lump inside.
perhaps i'm heaty or what. everytime i blink my eye it kinda hurt a little.
i'm so bored. i wanna go out. but how to go out with the eye thats swollen abit?
msn also no one to chat to.
damn bored larhhs!
Just now when i was bathing, i was also msging baby.
& i accidentally dropped the phone. & water gets in. :(
my phone's ok for now, but the camera part sot sot liao. :(
I want a new handphone ! :(
I miss baby alot.
Cant wait for him to be back.
I'm counting down the days... (:
Mum called to say that my family & relatives will be at suntec to have their dinner.
Then tell me settle dinner myself. T.T
What to eat for dinner? =x
Haish. Soooo good. how i wish i can go ! :(
I feel so restricted.
I have to avoid mum & dad's friends.
I have to avoid relatives.
How long can i avoid? :(
I'm feeling so upset that i cant go on outings with them.
I'm drifting apart from them. :(
If i'm not pregnant, then i wont have problems meeting them. :(
Haish. I cant say that. Better take back my words.
Later lil jayven wont be happy. :(
I'm really feeling quite depressed.
omg. the sort of depression feeling again.
In fact, i always have something sort of like depression. :(
Its just that i look happy when i'm outside. I dont show. :(
I'm always stuck at two issues.
Firstly, who's gonna take care of me & lil jayven during my confinement?
Secondly, FINANCIAL !! :(
No one's free in my family.
& even if they care, I still feel that they dont care.
I dont know why. :(
I feel so upset whenever my dad says
he would rather want me to give lil jayven up for adoption.
It breaks my heart. :(
Starting when i was pregnant, they keep pressing me to go for abortion.
Its was so stressful. But thank god things are better now. (:
But I can still feel the stress there.
& I feel that mum indirectly blames me bcos my bf's coming back from taiwan bcos of me.
Cos like that he wont have high pay & no one helps me with the financials. =.=
She say that is i want him come back. wtf?
She stress the words until is like my fault !
Yes, i do want him to come back.
But i want him to earn money as well & enjoy there.
I didnt expect him to do such a touching thing to sacrifice his high pay & come back.
So now what? Blaming me for it? Want me jump down let you see anot?
Then no need so headache about financial issues & the baby ! :(
Sometimes i do think like that. I feel that lil jayven is unwanted.
Nobody wants him. except me. I'm the one protecting him all the time.
mum & dad sometimes give me the feeling they dont like him.
Cos mum will say something like "if you abort then wont have to be stressed ! " or whatever.
Haish. idk. maybe she didnt mean it? Idk la. :(
I miss baby. How i wish you were here.
I need a hug. & your shoulder. :(
{ilovenickchongyz (:}
Saturday, May 23, 2009 10:51 PM
Tummy at 31 weeks . (:
lols. too bored. snapped my tummy. xDD
baby haven online. =.=
he playing bb at taiwan. lols!
then he say ltr then online.
cos my parents come jie's hse visit me & jie . (:
i miss them ! (:
As the due date is getting nearer, i'm getting more nervous & excited.
I'm so scared of the pain.
Heard from other mums that its quite painful.
Omg. I scared i faint in the labour ward.
I'm so afraid i cant handle the delievery well. :(
Okok. I think i dont think so much first. Relax. :x
Please god bless my child.
I hope to have a safe & smooth delivery of lil jayven. (:
Baby chit chat with me on msn.
he told me ard 1st week of june coming back.
hmms. is it for real? am i dreaming?
He's really gonna come back?
Hmms. i think as the date comes closer, we'll know the answer. (:
But 90% he's coming back.
aww. he sacrificed his high pay in ns at taiwan for me ! >.<
so touched. iloveyou baby ! (:
{ilovenickchong (:}
2:38 PM
(old photo)
Woke up ard 1pm.
Nothing to do. Jie brought kids to the zoo.
Means no lunch for me. Eat bread again. :S
I'm like NO LIFE lor. sibei sians. haish. :(
Baby msged me. said he can go back to sg in june. (:
aww. I cant wait to see baby ! (:
Miss you so much much much ! (:
So boring lor. Alot of ppl just view & run my blog.
Everytime see my blog views increase,
but my tagboard so dead. :X
Argh. dying of boredom. I wanna go out ! >.<
Laughs. i wanna FLY to taiwan see baby. lols. jkjk. xDD.
{ilovenickchongyz ♥ }
Friday, May 22, 2009 8:35 PM
When i just reached home, jie actually wanna meet mummy.
Then bcos she's bringing the kids to the zoo tml, then she dont want meet.
cos waking up early tml. =.=
i'm not going. lazy go zoo. dont want to feed mosquito. lols.
then very sians. haven remove makeup. lazy. later then remove.
So i snapped some pics lor. my camwhore photos. >.<
Baby's now online talking to me.
FINALLY.
I miss baby ! (:
{ilovenickchongyz ♥ }
