Everyone's not at home.
Eating bread for lunch again. T.T
HUNGRY !!! :(
guess where they went?
they went to eat vegetarian with my parents & relatives.
wahlao sian! i cant go! cos partly i woke up late. & mainly bcos i'm pregnant.
parents dont want me to be seen by the relatives. haish.
then how am i suppose to face them next time? :(
argh. my left eye got something like pimple or what. like lump inside.
perhaps i'm heaty or what. everytime i blink my eye it kinda hurt a little.
i'm so bored. i wanna go out. but how to go out with the eye thats swollen abit?
msn also no one to chat to.
damn bored larhhs!
Just now when i was bathing, i was also msging baby.
& i accidentally dropped the phone. & water gets in. :(
my phone's ok for now, but the camera part sot sot liao. :(
I want a new handphone ! :(
I miss baby alot.
Cant wait for him to be back.
I'm counting down the days... (:
Mum called to say that my family & relatives will be at suntec to have their dinner.
Then tell me settle dinner myself. T.T
What to eat for dinner? =x
Haish. Soooo good. how i wish i can go ! :(
I feel so restricted.
I have to avoid mum & dad's friends.
I have to avoid relatives.
How long can i avoid? :(
I'm feeling so upset that i cant go on outings with them.
I'm drifting apart from them. :(
If i'm not pregnant, then i wont have problems meeting them. :(
Haish. I cant say that. Better take back my words.
Later lil jayven wont be happy. :(
I'm really feeling quite depressed.
omg. the sort of depression feeling again.
In fact, i always have something sort of like depression. :(
Its just that i look happy when i'm outside. I dont show. :(
I'm always stuck at two issues.
Firstly, who's gonna take care of me & lil jayven during my confinement?
Secondly, FINANCIAL !! :(
No one's free in my family.
& even if they care, I still feel that they dont care.
I dont know why. :(
I feel so upset whenever my dad says
he would rather want me to give lil jayven up for adoption.
It breaks my heart. :(
Starting when i was pregnant, they keep pressing me to go for abortion.
Its was so stressful. But thank god things are better now. (:
But I can still feel the stress there.
& I feel that mum indirectly blames me bcos my bf's coming back from taiwan bcos of me.
Cos like that he wont have high pay & no one helps me with the financials. =.=
She say that is i want him come back. wtf?
She stress the words until is like my fault !
Yes, i do want him to come back.
But i want him to earn money as well & enjoy there.
I didnt expect him to do such a touching thing to sacrifice his high pay & come back.
So now what? Blaming me for it? Want me jump down let you see anot?
Then no need so headache about financial issues & the baby ! :(
Sometimes i do think like that. I feel that lil jayven is unwanted.
Nobody wants him. except me. I'm the one protecting him all the time.
mum & dad sometimes give me the feeling they dont like him.
Cos mum will say something like "if you abort then wont have to be stressed ! " or whatever.
Haish. idk. maybe she didnt mean it? Idk la. :(
I miss baby. How i wish you were here.
I need a hug. & your shoulder. :(
{ilovenickchongyz (:}
